Tuesday, November 6, 2012

It Was Never Mine to Hold

There is a musician that my husband and I really like.
He heard her at a conference for work and brought home her CD.
Now...I really like her.
Her name is Audrey Assad.

There are a couple of her songs that I like more than the rest...as is the case with most CDs.
My very favorite is "Everything is Yours".

It is one of the most peacefully freeing, yet convicting songs that I have ever loved.

The song talks about how easy it is to hear the Lord and feel close to him when everything is going right.
At other times however, it is more difficult.

However, He never changes through it all!

It describes the power He has to calm the storms.
Yet He is gentle enough to take care of the delicate roses. 

The chorus is my favorite part.
It simply says,
if everything is Yours, I'm letting it go.
It was never mine to hold.

Throughout our foster parent journey, and at other times in life I have found myself thinking of this song.
I tend to cling so tightly to what I have or what I want.
I forget that it isn't mine.
God has given me things, a husband, a child, dreams...but they are still His.

I say it's freeing because it gives me peace to know He is in control.
I don't have to hold on tight or hold it all together.
It's convicting because I rarely remember this and live this way.
It's also scary because I'm human and sometimes I don't want to give up control.
I think I can handle it all best.
(How silly is that?!)

Today I just wanted to share my heart.
This is definitely not an area of life I have conquered.
Even as I'm typing this I know I will continue to struggle with this.

Even still...God is still God.
He is still the same.
He holds it all.
And He is trustworthy to hold it all!

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